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The
Dark Arts of Cheating
By Jason Morton
Regardless of whether you choice
to follow the light or the dark path of our game, you cannot
deny that there are others that will stop at anything to take
a win away from you, stop from getting eliminated, etc. Paintball
is a sport like any other. Rules are in place to govern our
actions and make the game more interesting. Those rules come
with a penalty if you break them. In football, linemen may hold
a jersey of a linebacker freeing his running back to the endzone.
If the lineman gets away with it then it was a great play. If
he gets caught its 5 yards the other way. There is a very fine
line between "cheating" and a great play. This same fine line
can be found in many places on the paintball field. |
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Cheating
or as I like to call it; "Playing the gray", is a part
of tournament paintball that will never leave. As long
as big money and prizes are on the line players will
bend and break the rules to win. Mind you SPLAT nor
I am not condoning cheating. Let us repeat that, WE
DON'T CONDONE CHEATING!! In a perfect world I would
prefer no cheating. Have we ever cheated? Umm, we'll
get back to that.
Cheating in paintball started
at the first game ever played. I heard he scrubbed a
leg hit. From that moment a precedent was set. Cheating
became a part of paintball. Rather then sit here defend
cheating I will let you make your own decisions. And
while you can see why someone would cheat in the finals
at the World Cup of paintball, with $25,000 on the line,
cheating in a rec game or practice is stupid. You have
nothing on the line and your not making yourself better.
Players that cheat in practice are not helping themselves;
they are cheating their teammates and will end up sucking
at the tournaments.
If your really the kind of player that would head out
to your local field and not be man enough to accept
that a 13yr. newbie shot you square between the eyes,
but instead would rather wipe it and make sure that
kid gets your revenge, you should consider taking up
Airsoft, where you can cheat all day long like a friggin
savage cuz even if you get hit 20 times, there's no
evidence as such. Airsoft is a game played on the honor
system, and it works. However, take referee's outta
paintball and people would get sent to the hospital
every day thanks to cheating and dangerous play.
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There is a huge difference between a little wipe and
playing dangerously. Adjusting velocity, freezing paintballs
or anything that could hurt another player is wrong
and should not be done, ever. Goggles are not meant
to take a paintball at 375fps, and neither was your
crotch. If this is you then know your playing with fire
and will eventually hurt someone or get your teeth knocked
out.
Do you even know the difference
between cheating and playing the rules correctly? If
your running to your bunker, and feel a hit on your
back, leg, head, or anywhere else you can't easily see
with your own goggle covered eyes, is it cheating if
you stay in the game before a ref comes over to check
you? Depends. If any of those did break and you continue
to play, you'll have at least one friend to talk to
on the way to the deadbox when you both get pulled.
However, if you get hit and slide into a bunker, don't
fire, and scream for a paintcheck from a ref, only the
incredibly under-trained and dimwitted ref's will continue
to pull a 1 for 1 in that situation, and as we all know,
if the ref's suck, your screwed anyway. Are you a cheater
if you sit in your bunker and wait for a check? No,
you're a smart player helping his team, and although
you might not think it to be cheating since you didn't
know if the ball broke, playing on is considered a dark
art in every paintball tournament series rulebook across
the world, cheater.
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Dealing with the dark
arts has it risks and gains. If you don't know what
you could lose then you're an idiot. The cheat is like
a fake punt. Use it correctly and it could change the
entire outcome of a game, but at what cost? The gains
to cheating are obvious. The risks on the other hand
are very subjective. The rules are clear but the reffing
staff can do as they wish.
Paintball penalizes in the pulling of extra players.
Players call this the 1 for 1, 2 for 1, or 3 for 1.
These penalties refer to the other players you got pulled
for you. A 1 for 1 is you and the closest player next
to you being pulled. This is a small penalty (unless
you're the guy getting pulled) and is used for players
that are playing on after a hit or spinning on a player
after you get bunkered. The 2 for 1 is 2 players pulled
plus the offender. This is used for players that actively
try to deceive a ref. A good example is if you get hit
in the hopper and try to wipe it off on the bunker or
you get hit on the knee running and you slide on it
to get it off. These penalties are more serious and
can affect the game in a big way. 3 players leaving
the field at once is ugly. The 3 for 1 penalty is a
team killer.
If a player wipes a goggle hit or gets hit and keeps
running down the field shooting guys then they will
probably get the dreaded 3 for 1. Four players going
to the dead box. You don't see many of these but when
they happen you can expect a bitch slapping in the dead
box. In 10 man it wasn't so bad but in 7 man its like
not even showing up for the match.
Now that you know the
penalties you need to know the situations where the
practices of the dark arts are successful, and if you're
a ref, now you know what to look for that you've been
missing all along. In most forms of tournament paintball,
the back guy is usually left without a ref and can get
away with much more then a front player. The thing with
players cheating in the back is they knowing where the
ref is and more importantly where he isn't. If a guy
is playing the outside of his bunker and the ref is
on the inside then he can get away with any hits on
the outside. If the ref moves to the tape then he has
to play it clean. The biggest tell for a ref is when
a back player flinches or jumps back quickly to dodge
a hit. The idea is dodge it if you can. If you can't
then most players will flinch jerkingly and give away
that they've been hit. But a calmer player with cheating
experience would do it differently, like this.
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Say you get hit on the outside
shoulder. As the ref is running over to check him, he
tells the ref. to check his pack. The ref, depending
on skill level (although we believe the vast majority
of ref's listen way too much to what players are saying)
will spend a few seconds looking in between your 17
pods. While he is checking the pack that player will
probably be busy scrubbing the hit off the front. Back
players skilled in the dark arts know the difference
between a hit and elimination. A hit is a when the ref
doesn't see you. Elimination is when he does. Pretty
simple rules eh?
Another extremely jedi-mind
trick type of play is the "It came off the bunker" technique.
A player gets shot and ref is coming to you to check
him. That player in turn quickly shoots his own bunker
and rubs the hit into the collection of paint. When
the ref gets there he makes sure that he shows the ref.
the bunker before they get to pulling their armband.
The Ty Cobbs of paintball, who plan on cheating before
the situation even comes up, will pre-shoot their bunkers
when they see that their team is losing players. Dark
minded front players have a tougher job of getting away
with a cheat. They are up where all the action is and
because it is more exciting there you have more refs
watching. The front and mid guys do have fairly successful
tricks in their arsenal though. The first one is the
slide or dive. Quicksilver front players that are making
a run to the 40 and often take hits to the knee. Simple
dark arts answer, you can just slide in on it. Magically
it's gone! The other easy cheat for Mid/Front ballers
is the bunker swipe. The good front player is very active
in their bunker, whether they are cheaters or not. If
they are, when/ if a hit appears on their hopper they
can easily switch the side of the bunker they are looking
out of, dragging the hit across the bunker. 90% of the
hit will stay in the bunker and they can then easily
convince the ref that it came off the bunker.
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Another simple cheat
is more of a playing on then a wipe. Sometimes it is done
with assistance from teammates, while the best can do
it on their own. If a player in a prime position gets
shot, only a handle of the best dark soldiers will get
outta their bunkers like their ass is on fire, and run
down the field trying to take as many of the other team
with them as possible. Since a game could be moving along
slowly, its very possible that a ref who isn't having
a hard time keeping track of the game, will see that you
have a hit on you when go for this move, resulting in
that ass-kicking 3 for 1 we spoke of earlier. To counter
this, some teams have developed codes that let their teammates
know "I'm hit, and they'll never take me alive". The other
players then start throwing paint all over while the hit
player gets up and runs down the field mobbing fools.
After he gets 2-3 guys he calls himself out and runs to
the dead box. The confusion usually allows the player
to get away with it. Pretty bastardly, but I've seen it
win world championships.
Not all cheating takes place on the field. Some of it
starts hours before you play. These types of cheats are
less violating but make a huge difference. The most popular
type of cheat is the use of excess layers. Most rules
state that you only get 2 layers, your jersey and what
ever layer you wear under it, not including your fat gut.
It is pretty obvious when you watch a skinny little player
go from crack head size to steroid freak in 5 minutes.
Many Pro teams use a thick sweatshirt under their jersey
as their layer. While this fits in the rules it looks
pretty funny when they're playing at Huntington Beach
in 80-degree weather. Many players push the rule as far
as possible. The thing most players love about breaking
this rule is that they can only catch you before the game.
Once on the field and playing they won't get pulled or
penalized for too many layers. Worst-case scenario is
will make everyone have to undress on the field before
your game, which could be a good or bad thing, depending
on if you got any girls on the team. Best-case scenario
is they get a ton of bounces from their 2 t-shirts, long
sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, and jersey. You think I'm kidding
but I watched a player pass out in Las Vegas from heat
exhaustion. As they attended to him they pulled off 3
shirts, a sweatshirt, and a flannel jacket. Great for
hiking up to the summit of Everest, but for paintball,
not so much. |
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The other layer
type of cheat is a pad. Most paintball tourneys allow
you to wear kneepads and arm pads. The problem is that
players will wear 2 sets of pads or more. Seeing that
most hits come on your forearm when leaning out, players
have tried to defend it by putting numerous pads up and
down the arm. I saw a Pro put DYE arm pads on and then
cover those with 2 sets of elbow pads starting at the
wrist. Add that to the 3-4 layers of shirts and that player
is now a walking Chucky Cheese bounce-house. The trend
of headbands has been an instant hit. It looks cool to
wear a headband or two and have the ends dangle in the
wind. The reason the pros do it isn't for looks. They
put 4 headbands on looking to get as many hits as possible.
And for the cheat that's pretty much the easiest to spot
and at the same time the hardest to prove. You may never
read about it in the magazines but a dirty little secret
happens in paintball. It's the heart of the dark arts,
the true test of whether or not you're willing to do anything
to win. More times then you could imagine, teams have
lost on purpose to help (or screw) other teams. Throwing
a game happens in a few situations. Say Team Rizzo needs
to win their last game to make the finals. The Rizzo captain
will go check the scores and if the team he is playing
is either already in or has no chance at the finals he
will make the pitch.
"If guys let us win, we will make sure and do it for you
the next time you're in our situation." This happens a
lot between teams that share a sponsor in common. It is
considered being a "team player". It might not sound too
severe, but what of all the teams that traveled from around
the world to play a clean game, have a chance to make
finals, only to lose out because two teams that like each
other decided to throw a game. It used to happen in professional
sports back when the Mafia owned everything, but fans
would riot if they ever caught wind of such a plot ever
again. The love would run outta that town like locus.
Speaking of LOVE……. Paintball has had a curse called LOVE.
This is before genius like Chuck Hendsch and the Pure
Promotions people developed professional trained cores
of referees. The problem was that in the top tourneys
in the world, teams used to ref each other. Usually Pro
teams that have a lot riding on their success. What would
happen is that the Pro team reffing would help out the
other Pro teams that ref other events. Looking the other
way or even wiping players off to help them. Players have
even gone so far to remind a ref that, "We are reffing
the next event. Are you sure that's a hit?" This is called
giving love. The people that get screwed by this is usually
the Am and novice players. When a novice started to beat
a Pro team, magically a penalty was called on the NOVs
and 3 players get pulled. Add that to the disappearing
hits and it makes it near impossible to beat a Pro team.
This is why all the leagues have put so much emphasis
on getting Pro refs that don't have any affiliation with
pro teams, but if your playing small-time local tournaments
where the ref's are a popular local team that's friends
with a lot of the teams that you need to play against,
your going to need nothing short of a miracle to win that
game. |
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Cheating is bad,
getting caught is worse. When they get caught, players
always try to do some damage control. I have seen players
talk their way out of being pulled after they just wiped
a hit. A quick mind and mouth will save most players from
most refs. "It is off the bunker", "I shot the player
first", "It was spray", "That came off my squeegee", "I
slid into some balls". If they can get the ref to stop
for just a second there's a chance of staying in. That's
why the best cheaters in the business are known for cheating,
but still get away with it all the time, because they
talk a good game, and sometimes even intimidate stupid
ref's with their fame. But if your choosing to cheat because
you've heard it made players whole careers and jolted
them to stardom, think of this, at what price did that
fame come at. You may develop a cult legion of fans that
idolize your rock-star status and cheating skills, but
most refs's, players, and more importantly, sponsors,
will hate your guts. So cheat if you want to become popular,
but when your 15min of fame dies down, you'll be left
with no team, no friends, and no sponsors, and your name
has been changed to John Rocker, the king of a-hole baseball
players.
Paintball has become so popular now that players do not
only have to hide from the refs but the press as well.
Some of the finals games at the larger events have more
cameras on the field then players and refs. If you get
caught on film you will not only look like loser but your
sponsors may not want to be associated with you or your
team. I have heard of a couple of players that wiped a
hit in front of a very large World Cup crowd. After the
event the teams either lost a sponsor or two or the Captain
was told to cut the offending player or lose their sponsorship.
In paintball the cliché of "cheaters never win" isn't
true. Cheaters do win and teams that practice the dark
arts are teams that are the best in the world. Sponsors
may not like to hear it or see it but they know and they
put up with it as long as its not what the team is primarily
known for. If asked they say they hate cheaters and won't
support it, but not a single top team in the world exists
that's never slide on a hit, influenced a ref, or worn
too many clothes during a game. So if cheating is apparently
so rampant, what can be done to change it all around?
We went into the field and the industry and asked some
of the movers and shakers of the paintball industry what
they consider cheating and what can be done to cut down
on it. |
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